i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
