I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
