My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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