i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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