Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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