it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
