Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
How's work?
Spinning.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize