i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
