so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
