Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
