I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
