I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize