I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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