I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
