Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
