I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
