Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
