but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize