i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
