I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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