You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
