We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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