I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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