don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
