He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
