I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
