I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
