Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
