i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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