How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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