He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
