I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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