What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
