just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Drake has all the answers
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
