Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize