i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
