I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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