I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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