a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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