i love accidental penises.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
