I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
