ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
false alarm, still single
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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