At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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