i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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