There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
organizing the empties. That sober.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
