Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm like, not good at living.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Two words: nipple clamps
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