I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
