Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
