It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
