that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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