I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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