i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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