yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
