In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
