I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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