Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
