Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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