If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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