I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
