Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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