I wannas sexs uuuuu
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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