I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize