All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
