That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
